My Top 10 Parenting Tips

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Did you know that now that I’m 2.5 years into this parenting malarkey, I’m now a self proclaimed expert! haha I wish, I have no fucking idea what I’m doing.

If you are pregnant, no backing out now 😉 , if you have a baby/kids then welcome, the only criteria of my parent club is to be supportive, no judgement here please. I hope you have some gin in your mug, how else are we supposed to cope with parenthood?

 

1. Trust your instincts

No one and I mean NO ONE  knows your baby more than you do! If you have any concerns you should never doubt yourself.

2. Embrace the mess

The sooner embrace the mess, the less stressed we will be, there is pressure on us to have a spotless house, to be on top of our mountains of washing and cook all these very nutritious baby led weaning snacks, that will end up on the floor. But the most important thing is our kids and our happiness, if cleaning relaxes you, then crack on but if you feel stressed, just don’t bother 🙂 Maybe ask family and friends to group together and pay for a cleaner for a few months, instead of those cute little boots,  (THAT BABIES DO NOT NEED) and outfits that they will shit all over and grow out of super fast!

I truly believe we will not look back and be proud of always having a clean house, we will be proud of all the memories we create with our families. Come on, let the house look like a shit hole lol

3. Friends

We need supportive friends with kids. We all know we were perfect parents until we had kids, so don’t take any advice from someone that doesn’t have kids! Ideally make friends with someone with the same age baby/toddler as you, they are going through the same shit at the same time and it feels less isolating knowing and talking it out with friends. If anyone tells you that they have the perfect baby, or they are a perfect parent and partner then they are lying!!!! this shit is hard and it’s impossible to be perfect. We are all winging it, losing our shit and battling mountains of washing.

My friends are what get me through it all, they can relate to the endless breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and all the emotions.

And we don’t need friends that say “just wait”, we don’t need to feel dismissed when we are having a shit time thanks. Peanut is a great place to find some parenting buddies.

4. Unfollow mum influencers

Only if they make you feel shit about yourself. Some are really empowering, supportive and talk about their struggles.

5. If it’s working keep doing it

There is so much pressure about what we “should” be doing, but at the end of the day, if whatever you are doing is working keep doing it. Remember if something isn’t an issue for you, then it’s not an issue.

Feed to sleep, rock, cuddle, contact nap, co sleep, use a dummy, combination feed, formula feed, we are all different and our babies are all different, just do what works for you. You are not making a rod for your own back and you are not creating bad habits, you are supporting your children the way they need to be supported. (we do not need to train them to be independent)

6. You can’t over love your children

We will never regret cuddling our babies/children, it’s biologically good for them and us, when we cuddle our children we produce a hormone call oxytocin, the love hormone, this helps with bonding and makes our children feel loved and secure . With babies, it can be so exhausting when they never want to be put down, (4th Trimester) but this is so normal and is inbuilt in them from our cave man days, babies that were constantly in ours arms were not eaten by sabre tooth tigers.

Baby wearing is a life saver for the 4th trimester and beyond, they will sleep, breastfeed and be content being close to you, you can even exercise with a baby in a sling (Carifit)

7. Smile and nod

Everyone will give you advice!! I remember when I was planning my wedding, I said to a co-worker, “bloody hell, everyone has an opinion with what I should be doing for MY wedding”, she smiled and said “wait until you have children”. Haha she was so right.

Family members, said shit like, “well in my day we did X and my kids turned out OK”, well the research and evidence has changed since 40 years ago you numpty 😉

My midwife said to me “smile and nod at the advice and then do whatever YOU want to do”. It can be stressful to justify what you are doing, and talk about why things have changed, I do find it much easier to just smile and nod, instead of explaining to someone.

8. Realistic expectations

Western culture makes us believe that independence is taught, we need to train our kids to sleep, self settle, not have tantrums, to not shit themselves once they are out of nappies.

By understanding what is normal for our babies/children at their ages, then we can know what the realistic expectations for them are.  I’m sorry to say it’s very normal for babies to not sleep through the night, and they need us to help them get back to sleep. Even toddlers require support. If you baby sleeps through the night, fantastic, you have a unicorn baby, but most don’t.

9. Breathing Techniques

Did you do one of my hypnobirthing courses? well the techniques you learn in that you can use in parenthood. When my toddler is losing her shit because I gave her the wrong coloured plate or I cut her toast in half, I want to head butt, but instead I used the breathing techniques to calm down. Only joking I would never head butt her, but I have considered head butting the wall.

10. You time

Having a piss in peace, a bath or even doing the food shopping on your own, these activities ARE NOT YOU TIME. We really need to (it’s hard) make time for ourselves, that could be going for a walk on your own, going to the gym, a pamper session. These independent moments, give us the break we need and help us be better parents.

 

  • This is a light hearted post to help you feel empowered that you are doing the right thing for you and your baby/children, this shit is hard and we need to support and encourage each other. If you are having a tough time, drop me a message, I’m always available for a chat or to meet up for a cuppa.

 

 

Hi! I'm Jodie

Fully qualified Hypnobirthing coach.

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Hi! I'm Jodie

Fully qualified Hypnobirthing coach.

Read more